


Dear Petunia

by Leprechaun123



Series: IWSC - Season 3 [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Gen, Late Night Conversations, Late Night Writing, Siblings Suck!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29498400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leprechaun123/pseuds/Leprechaun123
Summary: Late one night, Lily is trying to write a letter to mend the broken relationship that lies between her and Petunia. Maybe an outside opinion will help her gain perspective.
Relationships: Petunia Evans Dursley & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter
Series: IWSC - Season 3 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122923
Kudos: 5
Collections: International Wizarding School Competition - Ilvermorny





	Dear Petunia

**Dear Petunia**

_Dear Petunia,_

_I miss you. You’re all I have left. I don’t know how to…_

* * *

_Dear Petunia,_

_I hate THIS! I hate YOU! I hate this GULF between us. I hate not being able to talk to you..._

* * *

_Dear Petunia,_

_Are you still grieving like I am? Can you still..._

* * *

_Dear Petunia,_

_If I close my eyes, I can still hear Dad’s booming laugh, smell Mum’s sweet perfume. I miss them, and I miss you. I miss the way things were. If only…_

Lily Evans screwed up the latest scrap of parchment, tossing it towards the roaring fire. She watched it burn, just like the previous twenty. The flames licked at it, curling it, leaving a black pile of ash.

She cut off another piece of parchment, pulling it from the roll leaning against her, and placed it down on the coffee table she was kneeling beside. Dipping her quill into her half-filled inkwell, she dragged it against the clean page.

_Dear Petunia,_

“Hello, Lilykins!” Sirius’s loud voice bounded over to her, followed closely by the boy himself, as he sauntered through the portrait door. 

Lily lifted the quill and turned to face him.

“Hi, Sirius.” Lily smiled softly.

As irritating and immature as Sirius could be, an energy came with him, and one couldn’t help but smile.

Sirius plopped down on the floor beside her, crossing his legs as he landed.

“Whatcha doin’? Surely, you’re not studying on a Saturday night?” he asked, trying to peek at the page.

Lily flipped the page over away from his prying eyes.

“No, I’m not. I did that last night,” she said, smiling cheekily.

She liked this. It was easy. Sirius was able to pull out a side of her that seemed to be missing lately.

“So, what is it you’re doing then?” he asked, before gasping dramatically. “Are you a famous writer? Or a journalist? Is it your diary?”

Lily giggled. “No, none of the above.”

Her gaze drifted away from the page, lingering on the flickering flames as her fingers fiddled with the edge of the quill.

A tilt of Sirius’s head was the only indication that showed he felt the change in the atmosphere. He tapped a nail against the side of her head.

“Hey, what’s happening in that big, bright head of yours?” he asked softly.

Lily turned to face him, tears glistening in her eyes.

“My parents died…” she started before she choked on the unspoken words.

“I know,” Sirius said, his hand lifting to rest on her shoulder; the only slight form of comfort that he knew she’d accept.

“And all I have left is my sister, but it seems like we lost our relationship long before they died. Death Eaters killed them; she thinks it’s my fault. Like I _chose_ to be born with magic or something,” Lily choked out. She felt Sirius’s thumb begin to rub softly against her collar bone. “I was trying to write a letter. Trying to fix whatever is left in the ashes of this burnt bridge.”

“Why a letter?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know where she lives, so I can’t visit. And even if I did, she wouldn’t speak to me in person. I hoped she might have enough curiosity to open the letter.”

“Do you think she would?”

“I think it’s wishful thinking,” Lily scoffed slightly, her sadness making way for a new level of anger. Anger at herself or Petunia, she wasn’t certain, but it was definitely anger.

“What about you? You don’t speak to Regulus, right?” Lily asked.

“You’re deflecting.”

“I need to. Answer the question.”

“We’re coming back to this,” Sirius threatened playfully, before he changed his tone to live up to his name. “But no, I do not. That is correct. Unfortunate, but correct.”

“Have you ever sent a letter to Regulus?”

“Let’s see. Threatened him, kidnapped him, charmed him at one point… I sent him a Howler. Does that count?”

“No.”

“Then, no. Do you think it would work?”

“If it’s as difficult for you to write as it is for me? Probably not.”

“Neither did anything else… maybe it’s a sign?”

“Maybe.” Lily sighed. “At what point though, do you give up on your siblings?”

“When you care more about the relationship than they do.”

“So… age nine?” Lily laughed mirthlessly. She pulled a hand through her hair, tugging on the plait that hung down her back before exhaling loudly. An exasperated bark left her mouth as she dropped her head, tears beginning to fill her eyes again.

Sirius leaned back against the edge of the sofa after placing an unopened butterbeer on the table. Lily jumped slightly at the thump of glass on wood. She cocked her head towards Sirius.

“I reckon you need this more than Peter.” He slipped the lid off a second bottle before taking a sip.

Lily set down the quill that she had been absent-mindedly using to drag soft stains across her sheet. Picking up the cool glass, she removed the top and took a drink, feeling the sticky liquid coat the back of her throat. Rearranging herself, she sat back against the sofa, moving closer to Sirius, the warmth from the fire slowly disappearing.

“I just wish it was easier,” Lily sighed, taking another drink from the bottle.

“What’s the point of easy, though?” Sirius asked.

“Easy might feel a little less lonely.”

Silence reigned over the room as they both drifted further into their heads. Lily’s drawn-out sigh hung in the air.

“Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it. Do you think it’s still worth it?”

“About as much as rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic.” Sirius took a long pull from the bottle, draining its contents.

“Thanks for that imagery,” Lily muttered.

“Anytime,” Sirius said, fiddling with the now empty bottle before smacking it down on the table. “You know, maybe we don’t need them. We have each other.”

Lily sighed. “No, I need her.”

“Why?” Sirius asked, his face screwing up in confusion.

“Because I don’t have the friends you do. I don’t have a James to get up to mischief with. I don’t have a Remus to… well, I just don’t have a Remus. I don’t have friends that have become family. Yes, I talk to Mary and Marlene but let’s be completely honest, they have each other without me hanging around. I _need_ my big sister,” Lily said, tears starting to stream down her face.

Sirius threw his arm across her and pulled her close, allowing her to sob into his shoulder.

“I think you’re wrong. You have me to be able to do this. While Remus doesn’t get up to the tricks with you that he does with us, he trusts you as much as us. You’re the one he can go to for, you know, booky things. And as much as you don’t want him, you have James,” Sirius said over her soft cries. “You have a family right here and, although you may not like us too often, we are here for you.”

Lily pulled back from him, wiping her cheeks pointlessly as the tears continued. “You consider me family?”

“We’re Gryffindors. Of course, we’re family!” Sirius exclaimed.

“That’s it? That’s your condition for family?” Lily laughed waterily.

“No, my actual conditions are a bit more in-depth. That’s just a good start,” Sirius replied.

“A good start? What are some others?” Her chin tilted up, encouraging him to continue. Her eyes began to gleam at the prospect of not being alone.

“Hmm… must be smart. Have either black, brown, blond or red hair. Must have seen me cry at one point.” He smirked, ticking off each “condition” as he went along.

Lily giggled as he kept going. 

“I don’t think I know much about your brother, though. What’s your story? Why do you not talk to Regulus?” Lily asked, turning her body, so she was sitting cross-legged facing him, bottle propped against her knee.

Sirius sighed, tilting his head back against the crimson cushions.

“Because my parents sucked him into their hideous beliefs. Because I left him behind. Because I chose my freedom over our relationship.”

“Did you give him an option?” Lily asked quietly, before tipping the rest of the bottle into her mouth.

“I gave him an ultimatum.” Sirius ran a hand down his face, one that had suddenly aged in a few sentences. “I told him I was leaving. I told him he could come with me, but he wouldn’t see our parents. I told him if I left without him, that was it. I wouldn’t be able to speak to him again.”

“Wow.” Lily’s heavy breathing was the only sound filling the room.

She watched the single tear drop down Sirius’ cheek. Moving for what felt like the millionth time, Lily stretched her legs out in front of her before resting her head on Sirius’ shoulder. She soon felt the weight of his head leaning on top of hers. Together, they sat and watched the last few flames flickering.

“I regret it. But I think what’s done is done,” Sirius sighed.

“Siblings,” Lily whispered, “who’d have them?”

She felt Sirius’ watery chuckle rumbling through his body.

“At least we have each other?” he replied.

“At least we have each other,” Lily confirmed as the final ember in the fire dimmed.

* * *

_Dear Petunia,_

_I do miss you, but I don’t need you. As much as I would love my sister in my life, I have friends that are as close to me as family._

_I miss our parents. I miss Dad reading in the corner, Mum cooking in the kitchen. I miss the little things that happened around our childhood home like icing cookies on a Saturday or stirring the pudding ingredients in September to make a wish. I miss playing hide-and-seek with my big sister or running down to the playground as fast as we could to get to the swings first._

_But let’s be honest; what I miss is long gone. We grew up, we grew apart and the one tie, the one link that held us together, has now disappeared. I’m tired of trying to fix something that’s unfixable. I’m tired of a lot of things, but mainly, I’m tired of fighting for something that’s not worth it._

_So, I wish you well. I wish you nothing but happiness. And I hope you find a family as wacky and wonderful as I have. I hope you find someone who makes you laugh, someone you can talk for hours with over whatever you find interesting and someone who looks at you like you hung the stars. But most of all, I hope you find someone who you can go to whenever you need someone to listen, even when you don’t realise you need them._

_If you ever want to talk at some point to catch up, I’ll be there. But I’m no longer going to try to build a masterpiece from this wreckage._

_Your biological sister,_

_Lily._


End file.
